Ep 40 Why We Choose Avoidant Partners: An Internal Family Systems Perspective


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Feb 23 2025 14 mins   1

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Do you find yourself repeatedly drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, even though you crave connection? In this episode of Psychotherapy Central, we explore why this pattern happens through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), or parts work.


You'll discover:


💔 Why avoidant behavior is protective and how it forms
🧠 How your own avoidant part might be choosing unavailable partners
❤️ How childhood wounds and unprocessed relationship trauma influence partner choice
🌿 The steps to break free from these patterns and cultivate secure attachment


IFS helps us understand the parts within us that unknowingly lead us toward distant partners. Healing begins with self-awareness, compassion, and working with these protective parts.


Resources Mentioned:


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👶 Meet Your Inner Child Mini-Course – A self-paced course to connect with and nurture your inner child:
https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/meet-your-inner-child-registration


📚 Heal Your Anxious Attachment – My signature course to develop secure attachment within yourself and in relationships:
https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/heal-your-anxious-attachment


Episodes Referenced:


🎧 EP2: Avoidant Attachment Explained
🎧 EP5: What is IFS Therapy? Internal Family Systems Therapy Explained


 


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👉 For more content on love, attachment, and healing, follow me on Instagram: @psychotherapy.central


See you next time!
Warmly,
Jen


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