Dr. Reedy discusses how we may feel humiliated when the distance between the false self and real self is exposed. Most often, the real self is exposed when we encounter difficulties or failures. He explains that the narcissistic wound, the wound of not being seen, of not having our whole self (in contrast to the “good” self) is rarely addressed without failures and humiliation. He explain that defenses don’t feel like defenses from the inside – they feel like, “they don’t understand me.”