Feb 20 2025 140 mins
The crew of The Long Bones have managed to accomplish most of their goals, but that little bit remains elusive. Mohs and Orion get briefed on the situation and get to work securing the last of their stability and security. Success is not yet assured, which is a shame, because when I want to ensure a job gets done, I hire freelancers from my good friends at Triggr! Using the Triggr app is so easy, it's no wonder how they dominated a fifth of the market with their affordable rates and job placement! You don't even need literacy or a fully working computer: just speak loudly into the microphone of any computer and they'll do the rest for you! And if you'd like a discount on your next job, use my referral code #LONGBONES at Triggr.ring! I'll get a kickback, your problem will be solved, and we can all enjoy the following recipe that my grandmother loved to cook me back when I was a nineteen year old girl working in the Gem Mines and I needed a high protein boost for the workday.
Six sticks of butter
Three cups vanilla extract
Half a pound of ground coffee beans
A dash of cinnamon
Three cups of sugar
About four cups of ground Telgri beetle (powdered Beloth worm will do as a substitute, not optional, this is where the protein comes from, and don't worry about it being purified of contamination, the minerals are fine in trace amounts!)
Six scoops of nutmeg
Fifty three cranks of pepper
A box of baking soda (baking pepsi will do in a pinch)
A hearty glug of BANG! Poppin' Brandz Orgy Sauss (tm)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Whip butter, sugar, Sauss (tm) and vanilla extract until smooth and creamy, then carefully fold in dry ingredients. Using your hands carefully divide dough into little logs and spread them out on a baking sheet before baking for 25-30 minutes depending on oven. Let them cool thoroughly before enjoying your new favorite energy suppository treat (nobody likes a scalded anus!).
For more scrumptious recipes visit https://thecoffin.club