Sep 09 2024 61 mins 3
Millions of men are tired of the way in which MAGA Republicans have defined masculinity in the traditional, restrictive fashion - emphasizing the “hard” side of men and shaming the “soft” side. This includes prioritizing independence over interdependence, thinking over feeling, autonomy over connection, and emotional suppression over vulnerability. The old view is “power over” others rather than “power with”. The old view is to exert control over women which is demonstrated by MAGA’s views on abortion and birth control.
The solution is not to prioritize the hard side of masculinity over the soft side. Nor is it to prioritize the soft side over the hard side. The solution is to create a climate which values all sides of masculinity (or even better, humanity!), so that we may bring the best aspects of ourselves to any situation as needed. The solution is to stop shaming men when they feel natural, healthy human emotions (think of how Gus Walz was treated when he displayed love, connection and pride over his father at the DNC).
What is the Man Box? It’s the rules you absorbed as a boy about what it means to be a “real man”; rules that have made you emotionally constipated, caused conflict in your romantic relationship, encouraged you to chase material things, and caught up in a hyper-competitive rat race. The rules include such classics as be tough, hide your feelings, dominate women, be self-reliant, don’t be feminine, and don’t be homosexual.
Research shows that this restrictive, tired view of masculinity has negative effects on us. The more we subscribe to traditional Man Box beliefs, the lower our self-esteem (Cournoyer & Mahalik, 1995), the more difficulties we have in romantic relationships and friendships (Fischer & Good, 1997; Sharpe & Heppner, 1991), the more we act in violence (Franchina, Eisler, & Moore, 2001), and the more depressed and anxious we feel (Cournoyer & Mahalik, 1995; Hayes & Mahalik, 2000).
Join Dr. John Schinnerer and Mark Greene in a fascinating conversation about the Man Box culture, and how it’s playing out in politics right now. The solution is not to flip the script so that we overvalue the soft aspects of men over the harder aspects. The goal is to honor both the hard and the soft sides of our humanity equally. It’s giving men permission to tap into all aspects of their humanity so that they are comfortable bringing the best parts of themselves to a particular situation.
This is not a problem at an individual level. It is a cultural issue, a culture in which the full spectrum of our humanity has yet to be valued fully. The thing I love about the Man Box idea is that none of this is your fault. You didn’t ask to be socialized like this. You had no control over it. It just happens. So keep in mind that while this is not your fault, it is your responsibility to evolve beyond the Man Box. And that’s what we are seeking to do in this election, discover more ways to evolve our masculinity.
About Dr. John’s Esteemed Guest, Mark Greene:
Mark Greene works to engage men in creating diverse, equitable, and inclusive workplace cultures. Co-Author with Dr. Saliha Bava of The Relational Workplace. Mark works with organizations and individuals to overcome the challenges created by retrogressive workplace cultures through his Man Box Choice Point trainings.
Mark is the author of The Little #MeToo Book for Men, Remaking Manhood, and co-author, along with Dr. Saliha Bava, of the Relational Book for Parenting. Mark's newest book, co-authored with Dr. Bava, is The Relational Workplace. Available now: https://a.co/d/1PcuEsn
Mark is co-host of Remaking Manhood, the Healthy Masculinity Podcast. All of Remaking Manhood’s healthy masculinity resources are here: https://linktr.ee/RemakingManhood
