What The Fuck Am I Doing being a person who is constantly aging and will inevitably, eventually die? Woof. In this heavy hitting episode, Esbee and Maddie discuss the one subject that nearly all of us dread in one way or another (aging) and even delve into a topic so taboo, our culture largely avoids it altogether: death. Although both women are not thrilled about the way getting older promises to loosen their skin, deepen their wrinkles, and intensify their various aches and ailments, Esbee has her sights set on the holy grail of retirement, whereas Maddie actually looks forward to certain aspects of aging that naturally come with being a parent. But it's not all bad. Both women explore various elements of aging that they actually see as positives. The two also discuss their experiences with their parents' aging, get deeply personal regarding their own feelings about death, and answer the big picture question: are you afraid of dying? Just in time for spooky season, these two are tackling some of life's scariest questions.