No Such Thing As A Fish

Jul 10 2020 41 mins 122.8k

A podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show huddle around a microphone and discuss the best things they've found out this week. Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)





329: No Such Thing As A Female Cereal Mascot
Jul 10 2020 58 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ostriches, tigers and a history's loneliest crab Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


328: No Such Thing As A Romantic Lollipop
Jul 03 2020 59 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Summer Homes, Summer Treats and Sunday Trading Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


327: No Such Thing As A SCUBA Diver In A Tree
Jun 26 2020 54 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Spies, Flies and Tornado Lies Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.



No Such Thing As The iSausage
Jun 22 2020 61 mins  
Extra Bits Special: Dan, James, Anna & Andy discuss Sausages, Eels and Unusual Swords in a bonus episode to raise money for the Care Workers Charity. Donate here: qi.com/donate. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


326: No Such Thing As an Infortunate Occurrence
Jun 19 2020 55 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a sure fire way to get a million quid, the secret of word peace, and why some people are more gullible than others. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


325: No Such Thing as an Earwig Family Zoom Chat
Jun 12 2020 55 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss medieval knights, 1001 nights, and French day trippers. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


324: Episode 324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2
Jun 05 2020 50 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Shameful Tunes, Moving Dunes and Historic Cartoons Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


323: No Such Thing As Floating Vaseline
May 29 2020 58 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what vaseline does in water; why an owl was found in an owl; and why you need to always keep in the lines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


322: No Such Thing As A Crown Of Willie Thornes
May 22 2020 60 mins  
James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss dizzy monks, soggy cheese and slimy sausages. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


321: No Such Thing As A Frothy Beer
May 15 2020 52 mins  
James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss chalk giants, corn circles and what the Mayans got right in 2012. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


320: No Such Thing As A Hairy Gearstick
May 08 2020 50 mins  
James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss the Greatest Showman, the Longest Limo and the World's Most Dangerous Mirrors Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly
May 01 2020 58 mins  
James, Anna, Andy & Anne Miller discuss the Amazon, Jumanji, Loofahs and Ooya! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


318: No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'
Apr 24 2020 57 mins  
James, Anna, Andy & Historian Greg Jenner discuss forks, eggs, ants, and why American audiences can be a little too Kean. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.



317: No Such Thing As Panic Buying Frankincense
Apr 17 2020 61 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss innovations in socks, a sure-fire way to win the lottery, and the worst place to keep your small change. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


316: No Such Thing As a Leg Made from Milk
Apr 10 2020 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Meaty Biscuits, Leather Baths and Other Strange Tails. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss
Apr 03 2020 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Plato, pizza and pliable planes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel
Mar 27 2020 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss 4-D, I.D., STDs and why we're all a little bit jealous of Jessica Alba. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut
Mar 20 2020 58 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss fruit that's expensive and dangerous; and people who got very hot and very cold. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino's Bambi
Mar 13 2020 51 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss dangerous Roman toilets, what shoes were thrown at a Bush, and the love life of a Lothario turtle called Diego. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


311: No Such Thing As A Michelangel-ogram
Mar 06 2020 53 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss a bank that was too warm, a bottle that was too full, and a nose that was just right. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


310: No Such Thing As A Mungmonger
Feb 28 2020 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Romans vs Vandals; Artists vs Artists; Door-to-Door Sales; and Bear-on-Bear action. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


309: No Such Thing As The Best Bubble
Feb 21 2020 51 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss get-fit schemes, bubble extremes, Norma Jeane, and an olm's routine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep
Feb 14 2020 44 mins  
Dan, Anne, Anna and Andrew discuss Ringo Starr's exorcism, driving with a pavlova, and the tiniest classified thing at GCHQ. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.



307: No Such Thing As EastEnders, The Opera
Feb 07 2020 49 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the never-ending opera, whether worms are carbon neutral, and how Edgar Allan Poe helped to create Scrabble. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping
Jan 31 2020 50 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and John Lloyd discuss correct gambling attire, the inventor of Vaseline, and Athens' sixteen thousand secret swimming pools. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly
Jan 24 2020 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's first electric cargo ship, jelly wobbliness testing Edison's near-miss with a flying badger. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


304: No Such Thing As A Phantasmic Foot
Jan 17 2020 53 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss parachuting beavers, why hotdogs are called hotdogs, and how your emails are warming the planet. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


303: No Such Thing As Suckling's Column
Jan 10 2020 57 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss 11th century rental eels, Nelson's lesser-known brother, and how to break into Alcatraz. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


302: No Such Thing As A Hedgehog Circus
Jan 03 2020 84 mins  
Happy New Year! Enjoy a bumper compilation of deleted bits from 2019 - all the facts, flubs and terrible terrible puns that somehow didn't make the edit. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


Audiobook Of The Year 2019 Preview
Dec 27 2019 31 mins  
A clip from the audiobook version of the latest Book Of The Year instalment - buy it now from audible.com! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


301: No Such Thing As The Queen's Christmas Burlesque
Dec 25 2019 51 mins  
Merry Fishmas! Live from Birmingham, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss the earliest known pornography, Mariah Carey's Christmas tree, and how a poodle saved the Queen's speech. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


300: No Such Thing As Swimming In The Sky
Dec 20 2019 63 mins  
Live at the Heinz Oberhummer Award ceremony in Vienna, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss edible sleds, the first attempt at laser eye surgery, and our shithole universe. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


299: No Such Thing As A Conscientious Brunette
Dec 13 2019 58 mins  
Live from Washington D.C., Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the goats that guard Reagan's library, poppy field crop circles, and which Apollo moon landing was faked. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.



298: No Such Thing As An Emotional Support Amoeba
Dec 06 2019 53 mins  
Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Hornigold the pirate, support animals for other animals, and why the French can't decide on what to call a pencil.


297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga
Nov 29 2019 46 mins  
Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the loudest birds on earth, the astronaut who ate shrimp cocktail 48 times in a row, and who really gave us all syphilis. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer
Nov 22 2019 50 mins  
Live from Philadelphia, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss crash test moose, radioactive slippers, and the multi-presidential inventor of chewing gum. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette
Nov 15 2019 45 mins  
Live from Boston, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Bastard baguettes Saddam Hussein's campaign song, and the first ever criminal to be put in Boston's stocks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week
Nov 08 2019 57 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan
Nov 01 2019 57 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss prehistoric sippy-cups, Rasputin's litigious assassins, and the coolest ever publicity stunt. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019
Oct 24 2019 57 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss four facts taken from The Book Of The Year 2019, including Greta Thunberg's adventurous middle name, the polling station with only one voter, and the worst way to dispose of a speeding ticket. The Book Of The Year 2019 is out now! Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Year-2019-Such-Thing/dp/1786332019 Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/gb/book/the-book-of-the-year-2019/id1462378633 Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked Chip
Oct 18 2019 58 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss marrying chips, geese-rearing astronauts and the restaurant with tables in two different countries.


290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine
Oct 11 2019 60 mins  
Alex, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Tolstoy's hat-wearing habits, nuclear-powered icebreakers (literal, not conversational) and how to hack a fax from the moon.


289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian
Oct 04 2019 50 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss leaping maggots, the point of motion sickness and why you shouldn't put on too much red lipstick. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.



288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport
Sep 27 2019 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss elephantine super-sniffing, Thomas Jefferson's version of the Bible, and André the Giant's all-night bender. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven
Sep 20 2019 46 mins  
Live from Antwerp, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss diamond vacuums, North Korean app stores, and what happens when you give an elephant a gold enema. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi
Sep 13 2019 42 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the invention of ball pits, a fisherman's unluckiest fruit, and how the internet was nearly called The Information Mine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing Wall
Sep 06 2019 52 mins  
Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss special mud for baseball, why YouTube was invented, and Brazilian caesarian section parties. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones
Aug 30 2019 44 mins  
Live from Paris, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss odour-analysing t-shirts, New York under meteor attack, and self-pricking porcupines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow
Aug 23 2019 44 mins  
Live from Geneva, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss selling shadows, exploding aphids and the emerging blimp driving industry. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.


282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew
Aug 16 2019 43 mins  
Live from Copenhagen, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss Bjorn Borg's karate-tennis instructor, singing teachers for canaries, and what happens when a shrew gets brain-freeze.


281: No Such Thing As A Chatty Cow
Aug 09 2019 43 mins  
Live from Amsterdam, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss how to clean warship guns, the anti-Valentine's march, and interviewing a cow.


280: No Such Thing As Permanently Latvian Beer
Aug 02 2019 44 mins  
Live from Oslo, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss medically-induced drunkenness, how to avoid being eaten by wolves on holiday, and what happens if you go clubbing with millipedes.


279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping Doctor
Jul 26 2019 43 mins  
Live from Berlin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss chicken lifeguards, carrot concrete and the most-signed birthday card in history.



278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid
Jul 19 2019 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Richard Herring discuss Hitler's feet, greeting hyenas and George III in a house on fire.


277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero
Jul 12 2019 40 mins  
Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.


276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A Cat
Jul 05 2019 41 mins  
Live from Gothenburg, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss ninja snorkelling, Spiderman's fall from a traffic light, and waiting at a train station for 120 years.


275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe
Jun 28 2019 51 mins  
Live from Oxford, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss lethal hippopotamus poo, ice cream-making warplanes, and how to avoid upsetting microbes.


274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
Jun 21 2019 44 mins  
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies.


273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat
Jun 14 2019 40 mins  
Live from Sheffield, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss urine-tasting, relocating entire buildings and the thing that's more painful to tread on than fire.


272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring
Jun 07 2019 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's most fashionable accountant, disapproval-based herring migration, and the invention of veganism.


271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot
May 31 2019 39 mins  
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss underwater dog treadmills, hitchhiking robots, and the late, late Elizabeth Taylor.


270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES
May 24 2019 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the Mona Lisa's wandering eye, coffee cups that grow on trees, and ancient Roman earlobe specialists.


269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport
May 17 2019 39 mins  
Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.



268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness
May 10 2019 48 mins  
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.


267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs
May 03 2019 38 mins  
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.


266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign
Apr 26 2019 42 mins  
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.


265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl
Apr 19 2019 41 mins  
Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.


264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space
Apr 12 2019 36 mins  
Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.


263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm
Apr 05 2019 38 mins  
Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.


262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle
Mar 29 2019 39 mins  
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game.


261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train
Mar 22 2019 39 mins  
Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.


260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
Mar 15 2019 35 mins  
Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage


259: No Such Thing As Flyagra
Mar 08 2019 40 mins  
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus



258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat
Mar 01 2019 47 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.


257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman
Feb 22 2019 39 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.


256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer
Feb 15 2019 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.


255: No Such Thing as a Bouncy Asteroid
Feb 08 2019 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.


254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car
Feb 01 2019 38 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.


253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations
Jan 25 2019 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.


252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy
Jan 18 2019 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.


251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George
Jan 11 2019 46 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.


250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber
Jan 04 2019 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.


249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of Wine
Dec 28 2018 37 mins  
A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!



Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy
Dec 25 2018 42 mins  
Merry Christmas! Here's a bonus extract from the The Audiobook of The Year 2018, available to download. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for more.


248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny
Dec 21 2018 49 mins  
Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.


247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The Sea
Dec 14 2018 46 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook's goat, and King Lear's happy ending.


246: No Such Thing As The Worm Revolution
Dec 07 2018 52 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin's publisher's not-so-helpful notes.


245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar
Nov 30 2018 41 mins  
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world's first crossword.


244: No Such Thing As A Fishman
Nov 23 2018 76 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.


243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs
Nov 16 2018 55 mins  
Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.


242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python Dynasty
Nov 09 2018 55 mins  
Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh's improv act, and why a robot would say 'poop'.


241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A Manger
Nov 01 2018 51 mins  
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.


240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet
Oct 26 2018 57 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.



239: No Such Thing As The Queen Maaaaaaary
Oct 19 2018 38 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?'s rejected celebrities.


238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
Oct 12 2018 41 mins  
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.


237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise
Oct 05 2018 45 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency's rockin' sound system.


236: No Such Thing As A Brie Sculpture
Sep 28 2018 48 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII's favourite pudding.


235: No Such Thing As Trousers For Spiders
Sep 21 2018 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.


234: No Such Thing As The Lemur Police
Sep 14 2018 51 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.


233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question Mark
Sep 07 2018 55 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters' birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.


232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot Bond
Aug 31 2018 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.


231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast
Aug 24 2018 27 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.


230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths
Aug 17 2018 39 mins  
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).



229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto
Aug 10 2018 42 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.


228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa
Aug 03 2018 34 mins  
Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you'll find inside a giraffe's armpit.


227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In History
Jul 27 2018 52 mins  
Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John's travel arrangements.


226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The Ceiling
Jul 20 2018 49 mins  
Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow's politicians don't kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.


225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle
Jul 13 2018 51 mins  
Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.


224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial Arts
Jul 06 2018 47 mins  
Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne's no-so-last tour.


223: No Such Thing As A Worthless Doorstop
Jun 29 2018 43 mins  
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.


222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering Pigeon
Jun 22 2018 44 mins  
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren't true.


221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted Country
Jun 14 2018 36 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.


220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots
Jun 08 2018 47 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots



219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah Wingdings
Jun 01 2018 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.


218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon
May 25 2018 58 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.


217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped Hankie
May 18 2018 40 mins  
Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.


216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War
May 11 2018 39 mins  
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.


215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team
May 04 2018 48 mins  
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.


214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous Hat
Apr 27 2018 38 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.


213: No Such Thing As Panda Gladiators
Apr 20 2018 46 mins  
Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.


212: No Such Thing As A Hipster Pharaoh
Apr 13 2018 46 mins  
Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen's tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.


211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River
Apr 06 2018 50 mins  
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.


210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table
Mar 30 2018 40 mins  
Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.



209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black Hole
Mar 23 2018 44 mins  
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn't worth anything.


208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg Thief
Mar 23 2018 39 mins  
Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII's driving-drink.


207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction
Mar 09 2018 41 mins  
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.


206: No Such Thing As A Pig In Court
Mar 02 2018 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.


205: No Such Thing As The Number Six
Feb 23 2018 52 mins  
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world's largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.


204: No Such Thing As A Mean Butterfly
Feb 16 2018 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.


203: No Such Thing As A Muscular Butterfly
Feb 09 2018 42 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn't leak and butterfly sperm trickery.


202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday Cake
Feb 02 2018 46 mins  
Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.


201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster Festival
Jan 26 2018 55 mins  
Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand's Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle's unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.


200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The Queen
Jan 19 2018 54 mins  
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great's sick.



199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat
Jan 12 2018 41 mins  
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.


198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia
Jan 06 2018 52 mins  
Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.


No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017
Dec 29 2017 81 mins  
All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!


Merry Fishmas!
Dec 25 2017 39 mins  
A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year.


197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas Trees
Dec 22 2017 40 mins  
A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich


196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic Dream
Dec 15 2017 37 mins  
Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral's dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.


195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak Bake
Dec 08 2017 38 mins  
Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world's first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.


194: No Such Thing As An Orange Crocodile
Dec 01 2017 38 mins  
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.


193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga
Nov 25 2017 47 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.


192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For Hats
Nov 17 2017 44 mins  
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.



191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal Squirrel
Nov 10 2017 48 mins  
Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge's robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it's easiest to speak while drunk.


190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps
Nov 03 2017 39 mins  
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.


189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan
Nov 01 2017 35 mins  
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.


188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade Launcher
Oct 27 2017 38 mins  
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah's only Guinness World Record, what's inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.


187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap Year
Oct 20 2017 42 mins  
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.


186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach Election
Oct 13 2017 32 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can't detect magnets with your mind.


185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow
Oct 06 2017 49 mins  
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show.


184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur Diaries
Sep 29 2017 42 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.


183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre
Sep 22 2017 33 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough's 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world's wood goes.


182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School
Sep 15 2017 33 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.



181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending Machine
Sep 08 2017 36 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg's Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they're in Aberdeen.


180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane
Sep 01 2017 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler's Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.


179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing
Aug 25 2017 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.


178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie
Aug 18 2017 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?


177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy
Aug 11 2017 43 mins  
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars].


176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar
Aug 04 2017 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.


175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings
Jul 28 2017 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.


174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray
Jul 21 2017 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.


173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor
Jul 14 2017 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.


172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon
Jul 07 2017 53 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.



171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire
Jun 30 2017 42 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.


170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole
Jun 23 2017 44 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.


169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty
Jun 16 2017 41 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.


168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead
Jun 09 2017 41 mins  
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.


167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak
Jun 02 2017 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it).


166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear
May 26 2017 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.


165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep
May 19 2017 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.


164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane
May 11 2017 47 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.


163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish
May 05 2017 53 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in Britain.


162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces
Apr 28 2017 49 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.



161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey
Apr 21 2017 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.


160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi
Apr 13 2017 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.


159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey
Apr 07 2017 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.


158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's Fridge
Mar 31 2017 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.


157: No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles
Mar 24 2017 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.


156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition
Mar 17 2017 40 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches.


155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane
Mar 10 2017 39 mins  
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast


154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd
Mar 03 2017 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.


153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time
Feb 24 2017 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.


152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions
Feb 17 2017 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.



151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant
Feb 10 2017 38 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.


150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish
Feb 03 2017 39 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.


149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe
Jan 27 2017 36 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.


148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose
Jan 20 2017 30 mins  
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.


147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy
Jan 13 2017 39 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.


146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca
Jan 06 2017 50 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.


No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits
Dec 30 2016 34 mins  
A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!


145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three
Dec 23 2016 32 mins  
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.


144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman
Dec 16 2016 36 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.


143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space
Dec 09 2016 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.



142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands
Dec 02 2016 35 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.


141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary
Nov 25 2016 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.


140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children
Nov 18 2016 44 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.


139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy
Nov 12 2016 38 mins  
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.


138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island
Nov 04 2016 39 mins  
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.


137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot
Oct 28 2016 41 mins  
Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.


136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams
Oct 21 2016 39 mins  
Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.


135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine
Oct 14 2016 44 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.


134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden
Oct 07 2016 37 mins  
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.


133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants
Sep 30 2016 38 mins  
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.



132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster
Sep 23 2016 47 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.


131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket
Sep 16 2016 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.


130: No Such Thing As Train Jam
Sep 09 2016 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.


129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper
Sep 02 2016 37 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.


128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill
Aug 26 2016 37 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.


127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'
Aug 19 2016 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.


126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn
Aug 12 2016 36 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.


125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix
Aug 05 2016 33 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.


124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream
Jul 29 2016 34 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.


123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch
Jul 22 2016 36 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.



122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon
Jul 15 2016 37 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.


121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre
Jul 08 2016 35 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.


120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin
Jul 01 2016 36 mins  
Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.


119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery
Jun 24 2016 32 mins  
Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.


118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider
Jun 16 2016 42 mins  
This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.


117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth
Jun 09 2016 41 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.


116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain
Jun 02 2016 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.


115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot
May 26 2016 41 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.


114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump
May 19 2016 33 mins  
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet.


113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle
May 13 2016 45 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.



112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier
May 06 2016 36 mins  
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.


111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat
Apr 29 2016 39 mins  
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents.


110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box
Apr 22 2016 36 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.


109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp
Apr 15 2016 35 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.


108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf
Apr 08 2016 40 mins  
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.


107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach
Apr 01 2016 39 mins  
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.


106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid
Mar 25 2016 35 mins  
Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.


105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts
Mar 18 2016 33 mins  
Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.


104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas
Mar 11 2016 34 mins  
Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.


103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor
Mar 04 2016 33 mins  
Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.



102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar
Feb 26 2016 30 mins  
Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle of the keyboards.


101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson
Feb 18 2016 34 mins  
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.


100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One
Feb 12 2016 43 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.


99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians
Feb 05 2016 36 mins  
Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world's oldest drive-through.


98: No Such Thing As Planet George
Jan 29 2016 36 mins  
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner.


97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie
Jan 22 2016 36 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularly amazing discoveries.


96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms
Jan 15 2016 35 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates' imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.


95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy
Jan 08 2016 34 mins  
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.


94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas
Jan 01 2016 35 mins  
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidential colonoscopies.


93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis
Dec 25 2015 34 mins  
Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year! In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss fluffy velociraptors, glass Christmas trees and the oldest turkey in Britain.



92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting
Dec 18 2015 38 mins  
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop punching glass.


91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988
Dec 11 2015 40 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.


90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion
Dec 04 2015 52 mins  
Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein's twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.


89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken
Nov 27 2015 36 mins  
Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.


88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet
Nov 20 2015 34 mins  
Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth's nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh's new ear.


No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special
Nov 19 2015 29 mins  
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.


87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police
Nov 13 2015 40 mins  
Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous snail in Britain.


86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples
Nov 06 2015 33 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.


85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo's Snowman
Oct 30 2015 34 mins  
Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and "fun facts" about hawks.


84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary
Oct 23 2015 36 mins  
Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.



83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog
Oct 16 2015 37 mins  
Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths' invisibility cloaks.


82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg
Oct 09 2015 42 mins  
Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to make fire from ice.


81: No Such Thing As Jellyfish Jelly
Oct 02 2015 26 mins  
Anna, James, Alex and Anne discuss glow-in-the-dark animals, Dr Seuss’s secret war films and what happens when you Google something.


80: No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control
Sep 25 2015 31 mins  
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss magnetic ham sandwiches, the original use for bubblewrap, and the world’s first vending machine.


79: No Such Thing As A Sad High Five
Sep 18 2015 41 mins  
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Scrabble's unlikely champion, why you shouldn't pick a fight a hairy frog & all the latest in itch news.


78: No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair Of Eyes
Sep 11 2015 37 mins  
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss trophies for trophies, Napoleon’s favourite food and the original IMDb.


77: No Such Thing As Pee-Bay
Sep 04 2015 41 mins  
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of buttons, White House squirrel problems and sewer-powered street lamps.


76: No Such Thing As Mould Juice
Aug 28 2015 31 mins  
Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first ever eBay auction, poo-flavoured ice cream, and the what happened to Fleming's mould.


75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive
Aug 21 2015 47 mins  
Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, superstrong beetles and car-driving monkey butlers.


74: No Such Thing As A Computer In The Oval Office
Aug 14 2015 35 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss the early days of MI6, donkeys with WiFi, and the world's only handwritten newspaper.



73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom
Aug 07 2015 38 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the preparations for D-Day, secret library porn, and cannibalistic cane toads.


72: No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope
Jul 31 2015 34 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first pneumatic tubes, photosynthesising sea slugs, and the worst zoo in North Korea.


71: No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper
Jul 24 2015 40 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss humans versus horses, where to get new eyelids, and why you should never drink with Alfred Hitchcock.


70: No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg
Jul 17 2015 34 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the age old debate of ‘Nike’ versus ‘Nikey’, telepathic rats, and 90 super-gripping babies.


69: No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run
Jul 10 2015 36 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss less famous Last Suppers, a guinea pig gynaecologist, and a crime writer who can't read.


68: No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle
Jul 03 2015 31 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the famous last words, the secrets of flirting, and drinking porridge through a straw.


67: No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues
Jun 26 2015 34 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss Communist Irish bars, the decline of marvellousness and a quarantine for diseased rocks.


66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood
Jun 19 2015 36 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss the fate of London's bendy buses, lifts with toilets, and century-long book deals.


65: No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus
Jun 12 2015 37 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss celebrity dinosaurs, beards entering Mexico and the professor of LEGO.


64: No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga
Jun 05 2015 30 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss banana bombs, disappearing lakes and a church for zombies.



63: No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock
May 29 2015 37 mins  
Live from the Hay Literary Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's first novel, a Beatle as Gandalf, and the inventor of the television.


62: No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda
May 22 2015 42 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Rufus Hound discuss the origin of The Sooty Show, an omelette-cooking tightrope walker, and the shepherds running America.


61: No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand
May 15 2015 46 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Benjamin Franklin's massive bed, knife-wielding referees and the longest movie in the world.


60: No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement
May 08 2015 36 mins  
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and QI creator John Lloyd discuss Iceland's last McDonalds burger, the science of ignorance, and sea battles at Sadler's Wells.


59: No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard
May 01 2015 45 mins  
In a special UK General Election episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss animal politicians, saunas in the Sinai desert, and the first 'thing' ever.


58: No Such Thing As Van Gogh The Elephant
Apr 24 2015 41 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss copyrighted bum-slaps, pickpockets with chopsticks, and Louis Armstrong's passion for laxatives.


57: No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse
Apr 17 2015 38 mins  
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss supersmog, horses on treadmills and impossible colours.


56: No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato
Apr 10 2015 41 mins  
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mad NASA projects, WW1 spy tactics, and an old, new enemy to all mankind.


55: No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers
Apr 03 2015 41 mins  
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss internet for plants, smoke jumpers and super-wet water.


54: No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture
Mar 27 2015 38 mins  
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss eccentric dinner parties, the most pointless scientific studies and what happens to tattoos when they die.



53: No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue Of Liberty
Mar 20 2015 43 mins  
Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss X-ray sellotape, the world's oldest chewing gum, and why you should never put Skittles up your nose.


52: No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket Of Urine
Mar 13 2015 52 mins  
Episode 52: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Tutankhamun's fashion choices, how to get ahead in a marathon, a city full of socks, and the most boring day ever.


51: No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat
Mar 06 2015 44 mins  
Episode 51: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the most common safe words, the lizard of Oz, and why the world's happiest man isn't happy.


50: No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style
Feb 27 2015 46 mins  
Episode 50: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of striptease, Hitler-shaped kettles, how to win a goat, and Anna's favourite table.


49: No Such Thing As A Buff Panda
Feb 25 2015 35 mins  
Episode 49: A bonus episode in which Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss tea-making panda poo, competitive walking, and the world's largest boring machine.


48: No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish
Feb 20 2015 37 mins  
Episode 48 - No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish by The QI Elves


47: No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer
Feb 14 2015 34 mins  
Episode 47: Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's most destructive golf shot, why Starbucks has round tables, and the truth about Nemo.


46: No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum
Feb 07 2015 46 mins  
Episode 46 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss bad Harry Potter translations, how to spot a Lama and ancient practical jokes.


45: No Such Thing As A Travelator In Ancient Rome
Jan 30 2015 45 mins  
Episode 45: Anna, James, Andy and special guest Greg Jenner discuss Von Humboldt's electrifying anal experiments, migrating limpets, and a time travelling bus service.


44: No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup
Jan 23 2015 34 mins  
Andy, James, Anna and Anne discuss obscene pottery, seriously bad signal, an Ancient apartment block and Australia's swear box.



43: No Such Thing As The Human Cigarette
Jan 16 2015 38 mins  
Episode 43 - James, Andy, Anna and Alex discuss tiger selfies, dog-drawn prams, a cow's best friend and a dolphin's worst enemy.


42: No Such Thing As A Bloober Reel
Jan 09 2015 47 mins  
Episode 42 - Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Kickstarter non-starters, gluey geckos, blue-breasted women and green-faced writers.


No Such Thing As Unbroadcastable Material
Dec 31 2014 30 mins  
New Year Special: A compilation of all the extra bits from 2014 that didn't make it into the podcast. Dan, James, Andy, Anna, and occasionally Alex and Anne discuss the discovery of Tahiti, sweary astronauts, the Queen's nickname, and the Snow Yeti of Wales.


41: No Such Thing As Reginald The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Dec 24 2014 42 mins  
Episode 41 - In a special Christmas episode recorded live at Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Charles Dickens' warm-up act, lactose intolerant neanderthals, 19th century copyright pirates, penguins in Christmas jumpers and the patron saint of television.


40: No Such Thing As Captain Trousers
Dec 19 2014 35 mins  
Episode 40 - Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss military make-up, dinosaur erotica, Obama's honey ale and history's greatest farter.


39: No Such Thing As A Rocking Chair In Space
Dec 12 2014 36 mins  
Episode 39 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss irritated astronauts, meaty rain, Britain's loudest snorer, and the garden party you don't want to get invited to.


38: No Such Thing As A Super Mario Love Hotel
Dec 06 2014 47 mins  
Episode 38 - In the first international live episode at the Brussels Atomium, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) Anna (#getannaontwitter) and special guest Lieven Scheire (@lievenscheire) discuss love huts, space pizzas, door-based ants, and rehab for drunk birds.


37: No Such Thing As The Kevin Olympics
Nov 28 2014 33 mins  
Episode 37 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss volcano cremation, the world's oldest spider web, prison newspapers, the emergency Olympic Games, and what happens if you kill the pope.


36: No Such Thing As A Game Of King's Footsie
Nov 21 2014 34 mins  
Episode 36 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss criminal camels, ancient yo-yos, trucking bees, maize mazes and terrible reasons to call 999.


35: No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie
Nov 15 2014 57 mins  
Episode 35 - In a special live episode for the Chortle Comedy Book Festival, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss the invention of sarcasm, the Antarctic Fire Department, dogs disguised as lions, and a Ming dynasty astronaut.



34: No Such Thing As A Giant German Sandcastle
Nov 07 2014 35 mins  
Episode 34 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss the scent of a comet, sky girls in go-go boots, the James Bonds that could have been and the most expensive thing Bruce Willis ever bought.


33: No Such Thing As A Clairvoyant Chicken
Oct 30 2014 34 mins  
Episode 33 - Halloween Special: Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss vampire finches, suppository broomsticks, the difference between a witch and a sorcerer, and why you should really be listening to this on 12 May. Check out qi.com/halloween for more.


32: No Such Thing As A Good Gift For Gordon Brown
Oct 24 2014 35 mins  
Episode 32 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter) and the composer of our theme tune, musician Ash Gardner (@emperor_yes) discuss useless Presidential gifts, great big arrows, Tom and Jerry’s sweet ending, and a passport carrying pharaoh.


31: No Such Thing As A Snake In My Pie
Oct 17 2014 33 mins  
Episode 31 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss urinating prophets, one man and his mushroom, weird wedding customs and who invented the electric pillow.


30: No Such Thing As A Song In The Sound Of Music
Oct 10 2014 52 mins  
Episode 30 - In their first ever live podcast recording, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss cow-based computer code, who won the Bone Wars and how northern accents beat the Nazis.


29: No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn
Oct 03 2014 38 mins  
Episode 29 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter), discuss alien chess, whirling chairs, criminal theme tunes and how to get drunk on a shark.


28: No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam
Sep 26 2014 31 mins  
Episode 28 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss washing with wine, dogs eating homework, counting with your loins, and all things clammy...


27: No Such Thing As An Egg And Cress Portsmouth
Sep 19 2014 32 mins  
Episode 27 - Dan (@schreiberland), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter) and special guest Helen Zaltzman (@helenzaltzman) discuss little old ladies in space, a gang of spying squirrels, Gandalf the Grey's real name, and more...


26: No Such Thing As A Yeti Fact
Sep 13 2014 44 mins  
Episode 26 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and special guest Simon Rich discuss chimps with pets, Kama Sutra crosswords, slinkies on escalators and sagging yeti breasts.


25: No Such Thing As A Randy Rat In Polyester Pants
Sep 05 2014 30 mins  
Episode 25 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter), discuss rats wearing pants, pizzas on Venus, pillow fighting in the trenches and how to avoid incest in Iceland.



24: No Such Thing As A Malicious Robot
Aug 29 2014 32 mins  
Episode 24 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anna (#getannaontwitter), and Alex (@alexbell_) discuss the shape of the Sun, fake baseball fans, giant birds' nests and how to play Hooverball.


23: No Such Thing As A Yawning Psychopath
Aug 21 2014 36 mins  
Episode 23: This week in the QI office Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anna (#getannaontwitter) and Alex (@alexbell_) discuss a scream louder than the Big Bang, pigeon-shooting physicists, accidental porn, yawning your soul away, and why a beard in battle is a bad idea.


22: No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter
Aug 14 2014 31 mins  
Episode 22 - This week in the QI office, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anna (@qikipedia) and Andy (@andrewhunterm) discuss how to post a human, ancient ham, apes using iPads and the definition of Wales.


21: No Such Thing As Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestlers
Aug 08 2014 33 mins  
Episode 21: This week in the QI office, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (#getannaontwitter) and Alex (@alexbell_) discuss freedom kissing, hippo castration, iceberg cowboys and whether or not we should blow up the Moon.


20: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil
Aug 01 2014 36 mins  
Episode 20 - This week in the QI office Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anne (@miller_anne) and Andy (@andrewhunterm) discuss aggressive bees, Walt Disney's breakfast, shouting on buses and more...


19: No Such Thing As Unicorn Stew
Jul 25 2014 35 mins  
Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss the estate agent army, bankers in sacks, medieval snail fights, tricky recipe ingredients and 'legs or tails'.


18: No Such Thing As A Kilt On The Battlefield
Jul 18 2014 33 mins  
Episode 18: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (#getannaontwitter) & Museum of Curiosity co-producer Richard Turner(@therichturner) discuss James Joyce's tiny underpants dance, a bucket worth starting a war for, fashionable apes, and much more...


17: No Such Thing As A Bassoon In A Football Stadium
Jul 11 2014 37 mins  
Episode 17: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm)& Chief Gnome John Lloyd(@qikipedia) discuss Elgar's football chants, Arsenal's response to 9/11, how connecting trains can affect a match, and more... Liking Football not required


16: No Such Thing As A Ghost In Poland
Jul 05 2014 29 mins  
Episode 16: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped)Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), Anne Miller (@milleranne ) & Alex Bell (alexbell)discuss randy bears, Bhutanese yeti park rangers, clever 12 year old girls, and more...


15: No Such Thing As A Bulge In Ken's Groin
Jun 28 2014 29 mins  
Episode 15: This week in the QI office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) & Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) discuss Aztec popcorn, Top Gun in China, exploding dolls and David Cameron's door handle.



NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v Ghana
Jun 26 2014 18 mins  
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) pit South Korea against Ghana to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v Ecuador
Jun 25 2014 21 mins  
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v Japan
Jun 24 2014 16 mins  
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped), John Mitchinson (@johnmitchinson) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Greece against Japan to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Australia v Mexico
Jun 23 2014 14 mins  
Australia v Mexico: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the twelfth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Bell (@alexbell_) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Australia against Mexico to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: USA v Russia
Jun 22 2014 19 mins  
USA v Russia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eleventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Alex Edelman (@alex_edelman) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Bosnia v Nigeria
Jun 21 2014 15 mins  
Bosnia v Nigeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the tenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Bosnia against Nigeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
Jun 20 2014 15 mins  
Italy v Switzerland: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the ninth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Italy against Switzerland to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Colombia v Ivory Coast
Jun 19 2014 13 mins  
Colombia v Ivory Coast: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the eighth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Colombia against the Ivory Coast to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Cameroon vs Chile
Jun 18 2014 15 mins  
Cameroon v Chile: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the seventh episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Jack Burke (@jacksburke) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Cameroon against Chile to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Belgium v Algeria
Jun 16 2014 15 mins  
Belgium v Algeria: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the sixth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Belgium against Algeria to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.



NSTAAF International Factball: France v Honduras
Jun 15 2014 14 mins  
France v Honduras: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit France against Honduras to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Germany v Portugal
Jun 15 2014 15 mins  
Germany v Portugal: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Germany against Portugal to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Uruguay v Costa Rica
Jun 14 2014 14 mins  
Uruguay v Costa Rica: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the third episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Uruguay against Costa Rica to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Spain v Netherlands
Jun 13 2014 13 mins  
Spain v Netherlands: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the second episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Spain against the Netherlands to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


NSTAAF International Factball: Brazil v Croatia
Jun 12 2014 14 mins  
Brazil v Croatia: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the first episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) pit Brazil against Croatia to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.


14: No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair Of Jeans
Jun 07 2014 32 mins  
Episode 14: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm)Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & Freddy Soames (@fsoames) discuss Charlemagne's tablecloth, Charles Lindbergh's fan mail, the original members of the Mile-High club and more...


13: No Such Thing As A Funny Nazi
May 30 2014 33 mins  
Episode 13: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & special guest Lieven Scheire (@Lievenscheire) discuss Disney's war effort, the rules of pillow fighting, stoned dolphins and more...


12: No Such Thing As A 164ft Tall Gorilla-Whale
May 23 2014 29 mins  
Episode 12: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm)& Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) discuss urinating voles, the rules of cricket according to J.M. Barrie, and more...


11: No Such Thing As A Door Knob In Vancouver
May 16 2014 29 mins  
Episode 11: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm)& Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) discuss wombat defence, Thailand's underwear policy, how to insult a Prime Minister and more...


10: No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk
May 09 2014 38 mins  
Episode 10: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), Anne Miller (@miller_anne) and special guest Eric Lampaert (@EricLampaert) discuss illegal javelin throwing, farts in a jar and more...



9: No Such Thing As A Word For 'Silent Fart'
May 02 2014 31 mins  
Episode 9: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) and Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) discuss wig theft, un-claimed elephant sperm, hermits at the bottom of the garden & more...


8: No Such Thing As A Swear Word On The Moon
Apr 25 2014 32 mins  
Episode 7: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) discuss NASA Vs Nature, Coney Island's oddest ride, Harry Potter's Chinese adventures & more...


7: No Such Thing As The Loch Ness Monster
Apr 18 2014 31 mins  
Episode 7: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) and Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) discuss parachuting dogs, a misbehaving coconut, the longest game in the world & more...


6: No Such Thing As One Direction in North Korea
Apr 11 2014 30 mins  
Episode 6: This week in the QI Office Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) and special guest Ig Nobel Prizes Founder Marc Abrahams (@marcabrahams) gather round a microphone to share their favourite newly discovered facts from the last days.


5: No Such Thing As A Kiss
Apr 04 2014 32 mins  
Episode 5: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) and Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) discuss rats, popes, kissing and moving house.


4: No Such Thing As The Mountains of Kong
Mar 28 2014 29 mins  
Episode 4: This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) and Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) discuss cavemen, spiders, fictitious mountains and immortal souls. For more, check out www.qi.com/podcast Theme Tune: "Wasps" by Emperor Yes. Buy on iTunes now


3: No Such Thing As The Middle Ages
Mar 21 2014 29 mins  
Episode 3: This week QI Elves Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) and James Harkin (@eggshaped) are joined by Horrible Histories consultant Greg Jenner (@gregjenner) and comedian Alex Edelman (@alexedelman) to discuss the first recorded smile, the most important animal in America and 300 years that may never have happened. For more check out www.qi.com/podcast


2: No Such Thing As Death By Aardvark
Mar 14 2014 31 mins  
Episode 2 - The second episode of the new podcast from the writers of QI, who discuss the best facts they've found that week. This episode features Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm). For more check out www.qi.com/podcast


1: No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish
Mar 08 2014 34 mins  
A new podcast from the writers of QI, who discuss the best facts they've found that week. The pilot episode features Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia) & Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) For more check out www.qi.com/podcast


5 • 24 Ratings

Lego Jul 11 2020
Fave!

MchllChndlr Jul 07 2020
I'm a new listener and I love the personalities and subjects. I'm headed to the archives to check out pre-corona eps

MadOgne Jul 01 2020
Funny and entertaining


kevininspace Jun 26 2020
Funny, great hosts, and you learn fun things!

astrangehop Jun 25 2020
Facts so fun, I have to stop working and note them down. Incredible banter. I'd recommend it to anyone.

meh101 Jun 24 2020
Upmost, the absolute best, podcast! Listened to them all, like 3 times. Really recommend, funny and just a brilliant pod.

DMCain Jun 20 2020
Love this show so much. hilarious and informative

astro_alison Jun 19 2020
QI podcast. Need I say more?? Quite interesting, quite funny, SO GOOD!!!!!!1

Chemical Bear May 31 2020
Top Podcast. Funny and informative.

BatmanFlight May 18 2020
Without fail an amazing and hilarious pod. I have yet to listen to a bad episode.

rojas68 May 22 2020
Best podcast out there

ace3skoot May 15 2020
Good

bj14klein May 15 2020
You are all hilarious and have great chemistry.


gvdwatt May 14 2020
Seriously the best podcast in my opinion. I look forward to Fridays when the new episodes drop!

Katherine May 12 2020
Hilarious, and one of my favourite podcasts! It's relaxing too, so great to listen to before sleep.

woatgoat May 09 2020
Hilarious informative magnificent

smc May 08 2020
Love this

Shmek May 04 2020
Probably my favourite!

Jan Apr 10 2020
Amazing podcast. If you love funny facts and want to learn cool stuff, this is a show you have to check

Filcuk Apr 20 2020
My favourite group of elves.

Cameron Apr 19 2020
Funny trivia. 4 very clever people, discussing little known nuggets of truth. And laughing.

Monica Apr 19 2020
A funny informative listen. I love the show 😍

aa260022 Apr 13 2020
Funny and you learn weird stuff


macross42 Apr 11 2020
Consistently awesome , never a bad episode .