Bone Marry Bury

Apr 05 2022 8 ep. 18 mins 423
Bone Marry Bury Podcast artwork

2021 was the worst year of Allie’s life: she was fired from her stupid waitressing job, dumped by a guy she was pity-f*cking, and evicted from her apartment. This is NOT how she thought life would look at 26. On New Year’s Eve, Allie heads to a party where she plans to get plastered and leave this mess of a year behind. 2022 is going to be her year, she can just feel it! Spoiler: it’s definitely not going to be her year. But this party is still important: Gabe — Allie’s best friend and our narrator — tells us that by the end of the month she will f*ck, marry, and kill three different people… and they’re all at this party. Starring Sarah Hyland and Harvey Guillén, "Bone Marry Bury" is the raunchy reverse whodunnit you didn't know you needed. Ready to play?

  Fiction  Comedy
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Chapter 7: A Deadly Divorce (Epilogue)

Apr 05 2022 9 mins  
For their two-month anniversary, Allie and Gabe are headed to court! Queen’s Court, that is, hosted by Trixie Mattel, one of Gabe’s favorite daytime court TV shows. Obviously, they’re going to settle their marital troubles in the most dramatic way possible. Things are once again looking up for old Allie — she’s got a good thing going with her man, a new job, and a new apa

Chapter 6: Shotgun Wedding

Mar 29 2022 24 mins  
With the police on to them and no money to escape, Allie and Gabe head to the bar to, uh, brainstorm. In their drunken haze, they actually manage to come up with a plan that might just save them from prison… but can they pull it off? Can Gabe flirt his way through a police interrogation? Will Luis end up turning them both in?? And why is Allie wearing overalls to a wedding???

Chapter 5: Liz Taylor 101

Mar 22 2022 22 mins  
What’s wrong with dating the guy who’s investigating a murder that you kinda, sorta, maybe committed? As it turns out… everything. Allie accidentally shows Luis her cards, implicates herself in the murder investigation, and needs to make a quick getaway. But her date — while cute — is no idiot, and comes to confront Allie and force her to explain herself. Just as she expl

Chapter 4: Panic Button

Mar 15 2022 19 mins  
Allie knew it was a bad idea to fall into that dicksand again. Gabe steps in to help her clean up the mess she made (both literally and figuratively). With the situation “handled,” things are finally looking up! Allie manages to sell her stash AND gets asked on a second date by cute-party-guy, only to find out that her and Gabe’s cover up might not have been quite as expertly

Chapter 3: The Pickle Prince

Mar 08 2022 19 mins  
Allie’s back in the professional world with her hot new startup (AKA selling pot). But when she tries her hand at dealing, she finds she’s not as much of a natural as she hoped. Dejected by her rough day on the job and abandoned by Gabe who’s chasing love with his new man, Allie caves when she gets a booty call from Jesse, her ex-boyfriend (and artisanal dill pickle heir). Af

Chapter 2: Job Hunting and Bathroom F*cking

Mar 01 2022 27 mins  
After ending New Year’s in a rather dramatic fashion, Allie is on the hunt for a new job. But her resume leaves a lot to be desired. After bombing her job interviews, she heads to the local dive bar to drown her sorrows. Evan, the friendly bartender, suggests she could make some easy cash by selling pot. Even Gabe agrees, despite pot being fully criminalized in Nashville — anyt

Chapter 1: Meet the Players

Feb 22 2022 24 mins  
Meet Allie: 26, kind of a mess (but a hot mess!), recently fired from her restaurant job and dumped by a guy she was pity-f*cking. This is NOT how she thought life would look at 26. On New Year’s Eve, Allie heads to a party with her best friend Gabe (who is also narrating events from the near-future), hoping to get wasted and leave this trash heap of a year behind. Maybe 2022 is

Introducing: Bone, Marry, Bury

Feb 15 2022 3 mins  
2021 was the worst year of Allie’s life: she was fired from her stupid waitressing job, dumped by a guy she was pity-f*cking, and evicted from her apartment. This is NOT how she thought life would look at 26. On New Year’s Eve, Allie heads to a party where she plans to get plastered and leave this mess of a year behind. 2022 is going to be her year, she can just feel it! Spoile