Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel of Time Podcast

Nov 11 2024 313 ep. 46 mins 580
Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel of Time Podcast artwork

Just two hyper-critical English majors talking some pretty big game about The Wheel of Time. Co-hosts Emily and Sally gather around their kitchen table each week to serve you up a full fantasy feast of oft-misremembered summary, hot analysis, scraps of literary theory, and a whole lot of hating Rand.

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Episode 309: Randorin

Nov 11 2024 44 mins  
Alright, who put "body swap" on their bingo card? We read the epilogue and talk about who else should have (actually) died, the possible Heroes of the Horn Polycule, Better Amyrlins Than Cadsuane (Literally anyone), Rand Uchiha, and ... God??

Episode 308: The Germ Theory of Disease

Nov 04 2024 48 mins  
We've reentered Flop City with ch. 45–49. This rushed sequence manages to both under-explain and over-explain itself, and would it really be a Wheel of Time climax if there wasn't misogyny? At least we have Gaul's SWAT team of wolves and Moridin getting his Darth Maul on.

Episode 307: Call Me Mishraile

Oct 28 2024 42 mins  
Ch. 42–44 are packed with character development ... that has already happened! We talk about All the Dads Dying, Logain Inventing CPS, Horn of Valere Orientation, Asexual Artur Hawkwing, and Thom's, uh, Interesting Word Choice.

Episode 306: Lady Corpse-a-Lot

Oct 21 2024 47 mins  
Ch. 38–41 are emotional and climactic but largely flopped for us. Why can't Rand stop ascending to godhood? Why does everyone want Lan to be Aragorn? Why is The Beautiful Shendla here? We have these and other questions. Transcript

Episode 305: We Could've Had Girl Nuke

Oct 14 2024 49 mins  
R.I.P. to, uh, everyone? Not really, but close. We finish ch. 37 and talk about the Hurinspital, how Wheel of Time is trying to be Game of Thrones, the Barbenheimer sequel, a possible Lews Therin jumpscare, and how at least Demandred Has Hobbies. Transcript

Episode 304: Horse Crimes

Oct 07 2024 46 mins  
R.I.P. to the best character in the series (Bela the horse). Unfortunately she died in service of the worst subplot in the series. We discuss Choice vs. Fate Philosophy, how Talmanes Is In a Saw Trap, Getting a Death Notice from a Wolf, and Playing Evil Catch with My Evil Son. Transcript

Episode 303: How Many Eight-Year-Olds Does It Take to Tie a Tourniquet?

Sep 30 2024 44 mins  
Why are children on this battlefield? Inquiring minds want to know. We talk about Belinda, Brando Sando Power Activate, Berelain's Herspital, Demandred's Balefire Gun, Shendla's Snipe List, Upgrading to a Lesbian Warder, and Artur Hawkwing as a Mean Bisexual. Transcript

Episode 302: Demandred's Situationship

Sep 23 2024 42 mins  
Somehow Demandred has time to ... date? We're confused. As we dive deeper into chapter 37, we talk about Chad Galad's Autistic Rizz, Logain Believes in Logain, Canonical "It" Pronouns, Fantasy Slurs, and whether upping the stakes is effective anymore. Transcript

Episode 301: Rhuarc Has Been DILF-Certified

Sep 09 2024 39 mins  
He's also been Taken (TM) by Graendal, so that's bad, but it's nice to know he's hot. Also in this episode: Girl Don't Touch Your Face, Siuan Is Retiring Tomorrow, Uno the Chaperone, X-Men Talents, and Pevara's Stanley Cup. Transcript

Episode 300: Q&A Round-up

Sep 02 2024 59 mins  
We're taking a break from the Last Battle to look back — and forward — using your fine, prime vintage questions in this extra-special, extra-long episode. Also, we decide who we'd f***, marry, and kill between Ishamael, Moghedien, and Asmodean (answers may surprise you). Transcript