No Rangers Allowed

Mar 04 2021 46 ep. 162 mins 46
No Rangers Allowed Podcast artwork

Dungeons 'n Dragons, house ruled to death, as played by weird and weary videogame snobs. Starring a desertwalking Zoroastrian dwarf druid; a backwoods halfling elftaku, master of banjo, jaw harp and double flute; an emo cat-summoning death cleric; and a filthy, feral anarcho-syndicalist barbarian. A Selectbutton Gaiden podcast. Join us at www.selectbutton.net Radical show icon by art subgenius @BachelorSoft

  Leisure  Comedy
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Episode 43: Decolonizing the Literary Canon

Mar 04 2021 137 mins  
The party learns from a kindly spidermother that the pixies have been horning their way into the wood, jacking up rents and driving out the legacy residents. Honeydew learns that magical root-ink cannot but produce pro-pixie propaganda from his pen. Delving into this tuber dungeon, our heroes vow here as always to defeat the Gentrifier.

Episode 42: Dopethrone

Nov 15 2020 125 mins  
Our heroes end banditry in the countryside using the traditional method, rousing debate about the working class! With the bandits redirected, the party attends to more pressing matters: learning sick spells, summoning even cooler cats, and getting insanely high. How high? Wake up in the forest surrounded by chittering spider people high.

Episode 41: Level 12 Ruffians

Jul 04 2020 160 mins  
Bernie and Honeydew creep on Aioli with their characteristic brand of subtlety. BJ and Ven set spears to face some suspiciously powerful highwaymen. Will our heroes reunite in time to defeat these foes in unison? Do our heroes ever do anything in unison actually?

Episode 40: Mistified

Apr 17 2020 161 mins  
The party is split in two, divided by a strange wall of mist that no one else seems to recognize. Honeydew and Bernie have a nice vacation with a dinosaur. BJ and Ven find Fatgris, open a door in the worst possible way, and prepare for battle with roofie bandits.

Episode 39: The Girl From Empanada

Jan 15 2020 170 mins  
Impositions from the outside world remind the bozos that they have a lot of jobs to do, and they spend some time figuring out the order they should do them. Imbued with new resolve, they march off to find Fatgris and the Azure Company only to immediately be split three ways on silly escapades. Honeydew's cow obsession begins in earnest.

Episode 38: The Bozos Are Back In Town

Nov 25 2019 169 mins  
The gang returns to literally sleepy Tumford only to face an infestation of g-g-g-g-ghosts! BJ is possessed and the only cure is Honeydew smashing him with a flaming Donghammer. Shrug considers historical diamond dust production. Bald Wendol is faithless towards his cabbages, and then makes a stupid deal with Honeydew that ends up consuming his character for like the next 20 sessio

Episode 37.5: Wield, Part 2

Oct 08 2019 207 mins  
In the long-awaited return of Shrug's wield campaign, two lost souls wander around a tower while being manipulated by magical objects. Also the objects are alive and being played by the same people in real life. It's not as confusing as it sounds, I promise. Look forward to extreme beach volleyball against a titan, people turning into dragons, lots of genital-related puns thanks to

Episode 37: Good Vibes Administration

Sep 08 2019 156 mins  
The gang's well-deserved victory lap. Mab the Pieromancer stays behind in now idyllic Chetverg, home to the triple race alliance. Magic items abound. Bartholomew imbibes the light of wisdom. The party prepares to return to home planet Digna. They don't know where they will be or how long it's been, but they know one thing: be excellent to each other. Party on dudes!

Episode 36: The Battle of Fort Chetverg

Aug 06 2019 165 mins  
The... Barty Party? Yeah, we gotta work on that -- resolves elf/fish tensions, at both the vulgar and elite levels. Work is completed on an obscene siege float. Captain Cha delivers a rousing speech of comraderie and fraternity, throwing our heroes at a sea of robot elves and their twisted vegan commander. There's only one way this can end: crushed by a statuesque elf butt.

Episode 35: Tears In Rain

Jul 05 2019 46 mins  
Boy, this episode seems short! you might say. And you'd be entirely right! I screwed up. I screwed up big! But the party didn't. They did great. They rubbed a cat on a beautiful man to save the soul of elvenkind.