Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Dec 30 2024 487 ep. 108 mins 1.9k
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast artwork

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

  Leisure  Comedy
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Sea of Stars - Part 4: A Sith Puzzle For Babies

Dec 30 2024 127 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 444 Level Up Starts at 01:36:00! Finally, we return to the Sea of Stars and a lot of stuff happens in this chunker! There's gorilla kids! Elderly enslaved kids! You sail into a mouth! And you get a secret weapon that morphs solstice magic into a [REDACTED] attack! Also: - An Edgier Pac-Man - Don't You Dare Make Fun of Capitalism! - Matt Loves A Good Pear - M

Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024

Dec 23 2024 71 mins  
We decided to drop a special Christmas themed bonus episode for you this week! It's the Square Roots Christmas Gift Guide 2024!!! Join us as we discuss what presents we got for all your favorite RPG characters. We'll be back next week with our regularly scheduled Sea of Stars episode.

Sea of Stars - Part 3: Bisects!

Dec 16 2024 154 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 443 Level Up Starts at 02:00:30! It's a Marvel's Captain America: Civil War on this podcast, as Matthew's Dreamatorium Podcast Within A Podcast is squaring off against Johnny's Dreamcast, a podcast within a podcast. But also we played more Sea of Stars! And we got to the big End of Act 1 twist! Gasp! Things change! Allegiences are challenged! A town with a te

Sea of Stars - Part 2: A Neck Romancer

Dec 09 2024 178 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 442 Level Up Starts at 02:23:18 The adventure truly begins as Johnny joins forces with Matt, Jim and Vanessa to tackle the pressing question about Sea of Stars: What the hell is this Wheels game anyway? Also we meet some fourth wall breaking pirates and fight two separate necromancers. Also: - Garl is the Jimminy Cricket - Johnny Hates The Algorithm - Smeared

Sea of Stars - Part 1: But Have You Seen A Whole Boob?

Dec 02 2024 139 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 441 Level Up Starts At 01:50:15 On this celestial episode of Square Roots, Jim guides Vanessa and Matt through the opening of 2023's beloved throwback style RPG, Sea of Stars. That's right: Vanessa plays a pixel game like some kind of baby, and it doesn't make her feel better when the game just keeps on the baby-themes for the first half hour or so. But will

Would You Eat This Bird? The 2024 Edition

Nov 25 2024 97 mins  
Square Roots - American Thanksgiving Bonus On this Square Roots, we're going to learn how to say no to drugs when a 8 year old tries to give you free weed. Or how you'll deflate like a balloon on your couch. Wait, no, that's not what we do on this episode. On this episode we look at sixteen birds - 15 of which are from Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth so be aware of mild FF7 Rebirth spoiler

Dishonored Part 6: BAMF!

Nov 18 2024 120 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 440 Level Up Starts at 1:47:45! Today is all about silly funny fun. There's goofy fun adventures, and our bestest princess of light and good and low chaos allows an old man to continue to live tied to machines and under the control of his slightly mad nurse. She also helps an unconscious woman have her dream wedding with a corpse. ALL IN THE NAME OF GOOD! - D

Dishonored Part 5: Big Labia Energy

Nov 11 2024 151 mins  
Dishonored Part 5: Big Lesbian Energy Square Roots Episode 439 This ep has a LOT of positive energy! We're all in a GREAT mood! Too much talk about labias Imperial Majesty Vanessa Hot Gay News! Johnny pulls a real life Mr. Bean and plays the wrong DLC EVERYTHING IS AWESOME This Week: Knife of Dunwall Next Week: Finish The Witches of Brigmore! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com

Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert?

Nov 04 2024 138 mins  
Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert? Square Roots - Episode 438 Level Up Starts at 1:55:00! Apologies to Italy, again. There are disparaging remarks made on whether Johnny did or did not finish Dishonored. These are all fabrications. Johnny has submitted video evidence to the Facegroup Group. He has the cheevos to prove it. These accusations are flag

Dishonored Part 3: Are You Going To Believe The Outsider, Or Are You Going To Believe Adam Christopher?

Oct 28 2024 158 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 437 Level Up Starts at 2:01:33! Finally, we get to go to a party! And what a party it is. Lady Boyle sure had a blast in Jim's game. It was one hot party! Her outfit was straight fire! Jim shot her with incendiary bullets! Also Johnny and Vanessa do some ethical kidnapping, and Matthew is sad he didn't just kill all three sisters. Oh yeah, and we deal with th