Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Dec 02 2024 483 ep. 107 mins 1.9k
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast artwork

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

  Leisure  Comedy
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Sea of Stars - Part 1: But Have You Seen A Whole Boob?

Dec 02 2024 139 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 441 Level Up Starts At 01:50:15 On this celestial episode of Square Roots, Jim guides Vanessa and Matt through the opening of 2023's beloved throwback style RPG, Sea of Stars. That's right: Vanessa plays a pixel game like some kind of baby, and it doesn't make her feel better when the game just keeps on the baby-themes for the first half hour or so. But will

Would You Eat This Bird? The 2024 Edition

Nov 25 2024 97 mins  
Square Roots - American Thanksgiving Bonus On this Square Roots, we're going to learn how to say no to drugs when a 8 year old tries to give you free weed. Or how you'll deflate like a balloon on your couch. Wait, no, that's not what we do on this episode. On this episode we look at sixteen birds - 15 of which are from Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth so be aware of mild FF7 Rebirth spoiler

Dishonored Part 6: BAMF!

Nov 18 2024 120 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 440 Level Up Starts at 1:47:45! Today is all about silly funny fun. There's goofy fun adventures, and our bestest princess of light and good and low chaos allows an old man to continue to live tied to machines and under the control of his slightly mad nurse. She also helps an unconscious woman have her dream wedding with a corpse. ALL IN THE NAME OF GOOD! - D

Dishonored Part 5: Big Labia Energy

Nov 11 2024 151 mins  
Dishonored Part 5: Big Lesbian Energy Square Roots Episode 439 This ep has a LOT of positive energy! We're all in a GREAT mood! Too much talk about labias Imperial Majesty Vanessa Hot Gay News! Johnny pulls a real life Mr. Bean and plays the wrong DLC EVERYTHING IS AWESOME This Week: Knife of Dunwall Next Week: Finish The Witches of Brigmore! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com

Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert?

Nov 04 2024 138 mins  
Dishonored Part 4: Is Harry Anderson An 80s Era Brian David Gilbert? Square Roots - Episode 438 Level Up Starts at 1:55:00! Apologies to Italy, again. There are disparaging remarks made on whether Johnny did or did not finish Dishonored. These are all fabrications. Johnny has submitted video evidence to the Facegroup Group. He has the cheevos to prove it. These accusations are flag

Dishonored Part 3: Are You Going To Believe The Outsider, Or Are You Going To Believe Adam Christopher?

Oct 28 2024 158 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 437 Level Up Starts at 2:01:33! Finally, we get to go to a party! And what a party it is. Lady Boyle sure had a blast in Jim's game. It was one hot party! Her outfit was straight fire! Jim shot her with incendiary bullets! Also Johnny and Vanessa do some ethical kidnapping, and Matthew is sad he didn't just kill all three sisters. Oh yeah, and we deal with th

Dishonored Part 2: There Are No Skirts Or Dresses In This Universe

Oct 21 2024 150 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 436 Level Up Starts at 1:56:45! Don't worry if you tranq'd the dogs like Matt did, the dogs are fine! They were just asleep, and now they're at big farms in Tyria where the dogs can run and play! Such are the cruel realities of Dishonored, the Arkane Studios immersive funulator! - Lactaid is the PreP of the Dairy World - Let Me Solas Him - Vanessa Doesn't Lik

Dishonored Part 1: Booby Trap

Oct 14 2024 176 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 435 Level Up Starts at 2:44:00! Matthew defeated nature and survived another hurricane, and we start a new game! This time it's the classic RPG (?) Dishonored, one of those immersive sims. Or 0451 games. Whatever you want to call it! We don't follow the Five Foot Rule of murders, get into jail, get out of jail, navigate some sewers and then deal with the High

Tactics Ogre Part 7 - Slam In The Back of My Dorgalua

Oct 07 2024 149 mins  
Square Roots - Episode 434 Level Up Starts at 2:07:45! I was thinking about making this episode description in the style of the Rob Zombie song, but that was too hard. Also? The lyrics are pretty weird. "Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat, tender is the fur, dying as you purr"? Alright there Robert. BUT! On this chunker we finish Tactics Ogre! All of us! Surprisingly. Some of us

Square Roots vs. Themselves!

Sep 30 2024 86 mins  
It's a hurricane ep! Matt needs a week off due to weather (coughfootballcough) so the Square Roots gang plays some games and chats about hot gaming news. We will be back next week for the end of Tactics Ogre! This Week: Hot nonsense! Next Week: Finish Tactics Ogre! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at